


Doki Doki

by Burgie



Category: doki doki literature club
Genre: Gen, tw blood, tw depression, tw self-harm mention, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 13:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13296108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Jack joins a literature club, never expecting his entire life to be turned upside down.





	Doki Doki

**Author's Note:**

> As a sidenote, I have never actually played this game, only watched a bunch of friends play it in a Legendary Skype call and watched someone do a blind playthrough of it but they cut out a lot of it, so if I got anything (or everything) wrong, that's probably why.

Jack dashed out the front door, his schoolbag swinging on his back and a piece of toast crammed into his mouth. It was his first day, and he was going to be late for Anime School, the school that he’d recently enrolled in here in this strange little town. So busy was he in worrying about whether or not he’d make it to class on time that he barrelled straight into a much smaller someone.

“Wah!” he cried, the smaller girl echoing his scream in a high-pitched “Uwaaa ~!”

“Jack!” the smaller girl cried, immediately shooting out from under him and helping him up. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Clumsy me, tripping over my own feet!” She tittered, either unaware of or ignoring the grazed skin oozing blood on her hands and knees.

“Ah, s-sorry, I guess I wasn’t looking where I was going,” said Jack, giving her a warm smile. He recognised this girl- it was Sayori, his childhood best friend. He’d known this girl his whole life, and her bright smile and cheery outlook on life never failed to bring a smile to his face or warm his heart. She was such a good friend.

“No no, I know, it was my fault,” said Sayori, smiling. Jack couldn’t help but smile back at her, even if her wounds were a little worrying. Blood was now soaking into the tops of her long white socks, and as she ran a hand through her short pinkish hair, she left a smear of blood behind.

“I really think you should come inside and at least let me clean up those grazes,” said Jack, looking at all of the blood.

“Nope! I’m fine, c’mon, Jack, we’re gonna be late for school,” said Sayori, closing her eyes as she smiled while grabbing hold of his hand and walking down the footpath with him. Jack was still concerned, not least because of the blood now making his hand slippery as well, but Sayori didn’t seem too concerned about the blood loss.

They got to school in plenty of time, as it turned out, and Jack managed to look around the school a bit before class went in while Sayori was in the nurse’s office getting her hands and knees patched up (only because Jack had insisted on it). It was just your average school- same buildings, a bunch of students, angry-looking teachers who looked like they’d rather be anywhere but here.

Jack was surprised when his first period was a free one, and even more surprised when Sayori bounded over to him to announce that she, too, had a free period.

“So now what?” asked Jack. “Is there a study hall to go to or something?” Not that a study hall would do him much good, he was new here, after all.

“Nope! I’m taking you to this literature club I joined, you’ll love it, I promise,” said Sayori, still beaming from ear to ear as she led Jack along hallways, still holding his hand, and to a room where the door was open. Jack could see three female figures inside- one tall one with long black hair, another tall one with long brown hair, and a third with hair pinker than Sayori’s.

“A literature club? Well, I do like reading,” said Jack. “And writing, when I can be bothered.”

“Well, you’ll fit right in,” said Sayori, pulling him into the room. “Hi, guys! I brought along a friend, I hope you don’t mind.”

“You brought a boy?” asked the tall brunette. She frowned, hands on her hips, and looked Jack up and down. “Hmm. I guess he’s not so bad-looking.” Jack blushed, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. Fortunately, the dark-haired girl with the biggest chest Jack had ever seen (which he totally wasn’t staring at, nope) looked just as awkward as he felt.

“Why did you bring a boy?” asked the buxom beauty, her voice quiet as she tugged at her sleeves in a gesture that Jack recognised.

“This is Jack, he’s been my best friend since childhood,” said Sayori, gesturing to him. “Jack, that girl you can’t stop staring at is Yuri, the one who’s staring at you is Monika, and my twin over there is Natsuki.” Natsuki waved at him with a smile, Yuri blushed and looked away with a quiet ‘hi’, and Monika stepped forward, smiling and showing too many teeth.

“Hello, Jack,” said Monika, holding her hand out. Jack shook it. “Welcome! So, what do you think, would you like to join the literature club?”

“W-what?” Jack stammered.

“Oh, don’t worry, we all enjoy different kinds of literature here,” said Monika. “For example, Natsuki loves manga, even though it doesn’t really count.”

“It does so!” said Natsuki, her cheeks burning pink.

“Whatever!” said Monika. “We really could use your help, Jack, we’ve got a festival coming up. Please?” She widened her green eyes, and Jack felt himself falling into them. She was just so… likeable.

As Jack left the room later on, after receiving an assignment to write poems, he frowned as he realised that he’d just sold his soul to Monika. What the hell had just happened?

The poems that the girls read back to him a few days later were very strange, bordering on concerning. He was pretty sure that Yuri’s one was about cutting, which he’d been able to guess already from her behaviour. But then, Jack was asked who he would like to help out with festival preparations- Natsuki with the cupcakes, or Yuri with the posters.

“I’d rather help Sayori,” said Jack, his unease having grown since he’d been hanging around these girls more.

“Oh no, it’s okay, Jack, I don’t need your help,” said Sayori, smiling. “I’ll be fine on my own, I’m not even really doing anything, ha ha!”

“Are you sure?” asked Jack.

“Mm-hm,” Sayori nodded.

“Alright then, I guess I’m helping Yuri,” said Jack. Yuri blushed, but gave a tiny smile. Natsuki looked a little hurt, but Jack was too busy looking at the beauty to notice it. Maybe he could help Yuri out a little, especially if she had a cutting problem.

“We’ll go back to your place,” said Yuri. “It’s closer to the school than mine.” Jack saw hurt flicker in Sayori’s eyes, but just as soon as it was there, it was gone.

In his bedroom later that afternoon, Jack left Yuri alone in his bedroom for a moment while he ducked downstairs to grab some more poster supplies. When he got back, Yuri was standing in front of his desk, but she quickly slammed the door shut and spun back around to face him when he stepped into his bedroom.

“I-I wasn’t doing anything!” Yuri stammered.

“It’s okay,” said Jack with a shrug. Well, if she was looking through his things, at least she wasn’t slitting her wrists or anything.

“Shall we get started?” asked Yuri, sitting down on the floor. Jack couldn’t help but notice that the grey turtleneck sweater she’d donned did nothing to hide the size of her assets. But maybe that was the point.

“Okay,” said Jack. He began making the poster, Yuri writing on them in perfect handwriting that Jack could only ever hope to attain. Meanwhile, he pasted images onto the poster.

“I want to show you something,” said Yuri quite suddenly. Jack looked up at her, concerned at the tight note of anxiety in her voice.

“Okay,” said Jack.

“Do you like knives?” asked Yuri. Jack heard alarm bells beginning to sound in his head.

“Um,” said Jack.

“Look at my one,” said Yuri, and withdrew a knife from her boot. Jack was more than a little alarmed now. But Yuri was holding the knife out in her hands, so Jack took it. It was crafted beautifully, the details in the handle exquisite, and the knife looked sharp enough to-

“Ow!” Jack cried, shaking his hand as he touched the tip of the blade with the tip of his finger.

“Oh no!” Yuri cried. “Here, just- let me.” She took Jack’s hand as Jack put the knife carefully to the side, and drew the finger towards herself. “Let me kiss it better.”

“I really don’t-“ Jack began to protest, but Yuri stuck his finger into her mouth before he could say anything. Jack wanted to jerk back, but he was frozen, watching as Yuri closed her eyes and blushed while sucking on his finger. He felt a blush of his own rise to his cheeks as her tongue swirled around his finger.

And then Yuri opened her eyes, realised what she was doing, and gasped, jumping back and letting go of Jack’s hand.

“I-I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me!” said Yuri, her hands covering her mouth.

“It’s fine,” said Jack. “I’ll just go… wash this and put a bandaid on it.”

“Sorry,” said Yuri again, blushing and moving aside as Jack moved past her and into the bathroom.

Jack stared at his wide-eyed, blushing reflection. That had been so weird. But, remembering that Yuri was out there with a knife, he quickly washed his injured finger under running water, dried it, applied a bandaid, and walked back into his bedroom to find Yuri staring at the knife.

“Hey,” said Jack, sitting down opposite her. Yuri blushed again upon seeing his return.

“I’m sorry, I’m so weird, I should go,” said Yuri, getting to her feet. But Jack grabbed her wrist.

“No, stay,” said Jack. Yuri stared at him, then sat back down, pulling her sleeve back down over her wrist. Jack was glad to see that at least no blood had seeped into her sweater, so she hadn’t been doing anything bad out here.

“I’m sure you must be regretting not helping Natsuki now, huh?” said Yuri as they got back to work on the poster.

“Not really,” said Jack. “Hey, listen…” Yuri looked up at him. “You don’t have to cut yourself, you know. It won’t make you feel any better. Trust me, I know. It just leaves scars that you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”

“But I like it,” said Yuri. “It makes me feel… good. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just a weird girl like that.” She smiled, tears coming to her eyes.

Jack finished up the posters with Yuri in relative silence, mulling over what she’d said. Yuri definitely had some deep problems, ones that he wasn’t remotely qualified to help her with, but all he could do was distract her.

After Yuri had left, Jack decided to go next door, to check on his childhood best friend. She’d looked sad upon leaving school, after all.

“Sayori?” Jack called after receiving no answer to his knock at the front door. He walked inside, calling her name again. Still nothing. Shaking now, his heart racing and his mind racing with thoughts of what could have happened, Jack walked up the stairs and gently pushed open Sayori’s bedroom door.

She stood in the middle of her bedroom, looking out of the window towards where she could see into Jack’s bedroom window. Right where he and Yuri had been working just moments ago.

“Sayori?” said Jack again. Sayori startled and spun around.

“Jack! Sorry I didn’t hear you come in, I must have been…” Sayori trailed off.

“Sorry to just barge in like that but I was worried,” said Jack. “You didn’t answer the front door, and I just thought that maybe…” Especially after the way Yuri had been talking.

“Huh? Oh, there’s no need to worry, Jack,” said Sayori, smiling at him. “I’ve always been like this.”

“Have you?” asked Jack. “I’ve never seen you so quiet.”

“Well, people with my condition hide it well,” said Sayori. Still smiling gently, she continued, “I have depression, Jack. There’s nothing you can do about it, so why bother worrying over nothing?”

“Depression? Are you seeing someone for it?” asked Jack. Sayori shook her head.

“No,” said Sayori. The whole time, her smile never wavered. “What’s the point? I’m dealing with it. I make others happy, because I know that I can never be happy.”

“But you can,” said Jack. “You can take meds, Sayori, I’ve been on them for years, and they do help.”

“They wouldn’t help me,” said Sayori. “And maybe I don’t want help. But it’s fine. I’m not fine, but I’m fine. You know?”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Jack.

“You can go home now, Jack,” said Sayori. “You don’t have to worry about me. Really.”

“Okay, but I’m calling you first thing in the morning and coming over if you’re not out of bed,” said Jack.

“Okay,” said Sayori. She followed him downstairs, which Jack was grateful for. As long as she was here, she wasn’t elsewhere doing who knows what.

Outside on the pavement, between their houses, Sayori stopped again.

“Jack, there’s another thing I need to tell you. While I’m being honest,” said Sayori.

“What is it?” asked Jack, stopping with her. Sayori looked up at him, her big blue eyes full of endless sadness and hurt that Jack wished he hadn’t missed before. He was so good at hiding the signs of his own mental illness, and yet, he’d missed it in his best friend. What kind of a friend did that make him?

“The whole time I’ve had depression, the best and worst thing for it has been… you,” said Sayori.

“What?” asked Jack, blinking in surprise. He pushed his glasses up his nose, they flashed in the sunlight.

“Because I love you,” said Sayori. She smiled again, that sad smile that masked so much inner sadness. “I’ve loved you for a long time. And seeing you with the other girls… I hate it, but I deserve it. Your kindness hurts, too. Because I don’t deserve it.”

“Sayori, I…” said Jack, reaching for her, but Sayori turned away. And then she turned back, stepping closer to him.

“Jack, I love you with all my heart,” said Sayori. “And if you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. You don’t have to. Just know that I love you.” Jack fought with himself, wondering what to say. If he told her that he loved her, it would make her happy. But it would be a lie. And they would both know it. Besides, when the truth came out, it would only hurt her more.

“I wish I could say the same, Sayori,” said Jack, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole. “But I only see you as a friend. My best friend, but nothing more.” He expected Sayori to crumble in tears. But she didn’t. She only smiled, her heart absorbing the hurt.

“That’s fine,” said Sayori. “I expected that.”

“Tomorrow morning,” said Jack. As he walked back into his house, he couldn’t help but feel anxiety churning in his gut. He should have let her down gentler than that, should have lied. Or at least told her that he needed to think about it.

Sayori didn’t answer her phone the next morning. Her silence woke Jack better than any coffee or shower could. He left the house at a run, pounding up the stairs into her bedroom. Why did her parents have to be out of town right now? Taking a deep breath, Jack braced himself as he grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open.

The first thing he saw was her body. Jack gasped, covering his mouth as he fell to his knees. Tears filled his eyes at the sight of Sayori hanging from the ceiling fan, a rope tied around her neck. She must have done it last night, after he’d rejected her. He’d done this to her. No, he reminded himself just as quickly, she’d done it to herself. She was sick, that was all. And she hadn’t wanted to seek treatment. Tears filled Jack’s eyes as he sobbed, unable even to muster the strength to call the emergency services. This was too much. Too much. His vision went dark as he fainted.

Jack woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring. He glanced at his calendar, and his heart leaped when he discovered that it read the date of the day he’d started at his new school. Just a dream, then. But it had been some dream, it felt like it had lasted weeks. He sighed in relief and got up, quickly showering and once again leaving late. But as he dashed out the front door and onto the footpath, he couldn’t see his cheery little friend. That was strange. Sayori was always the last one at school. He waited, trying her phone. But nothing.

Her house was empty, too. There was no corpse strung up, not even any furniture. The house was bare. Jack trembled as he stepped back outside, and he was so on edge that he almost jumped out of his skin when Monika appeared beside him. She hadn’t been there before.

“Hi, Jack,” said Monika, smiling. “What are you doing outside that empty house?”

“Didn’t someone used to live there?” asked Jack.

“Nope,” said Monika. Her smile grew into a too-large grin. “Nobody has lived there. Ever. It’s almost like the house just… magically became empty overnight. But enough of that. Let’s go to school!”

At school, Jack was reintroduced to the Literature Club, who acted like they’d never seen him before. Nobody had ever heard of a girl named Sayori, either. It was like she’d never existed. But surely he hadn’t dreamt her? No, he remembered his best friend, remembered growing up with her, remembered turning her down and finding her body.

Jack’s mind whirled as he once again sat at his desk, only now he only had to write out poems for two girls. What the hell was happening?


End file.
